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The Brain

I highly recommend this video. Watch it and tell me your thoughts.




Personally I was deeply touched on so many levels. How highly sophisticated this woman is. How she embarked upon a scientific journey because her brother's condition made her want to understand the human brain. How effectively she relayed her experience with the stroke and made me empathize with her as if I was actually living this situation.

How she is a strong woman.

And then my mind skipped to the image of women now in our culture. How the hottest debate going on for years has been about which part of a woman's body should be covered, and it hurt me so much inside. I felt how shamefully backward we still are as human beings. The road ahead of us is still too long, but I don't think that this is problematic. Our problem is that we can't even find that road yet. It's a mythical road we only hear about. We have gone off the road so many times and have been lost in diversions that it can no longer be remembered.

Questions on my mind...

1- Why is it that when a woman becomes divorced and returns to her family's house, she automatically starts being treated as a child again, with curfews and interference in personal affairs? Can a woman only be treated as a full adult when she's living with a man? Why can't a divorced woman live on her own? She became independent when she got married, and many women live away from their husbands for long periods of time due to work conditions, so why does she HAVE to live with the family again when she's divorced?

2- Why do people drive the way they do, really, why?

Diversion: Some time ago I was approaching a speed bump and a young man started to cross the street, so I stopped for him to continue crossing, he seemed incredulous, and then beamed a huge smile at me. I gave him my brightest smile and then went on my way. That's what I call positive energy.

3- I still don't have an answer to my question: where have all the men gone?
I am sorry to say this but everyday I keep seeing less and less men. The theme with men these days is that they are either: insecure, irresponsible, or simply lack testosterone (I actually wanted to use a more graphic word, but I am still trying to keep up the Ramadan spirit :))

4- I know it's a bit late but what does wa7awy ya wa7awy, eyya7a, mean?

5- Why are religious shows by famous "preachers" so horribly unbearable?

That's enough for today.

Egyptian Drama

I apologize for calling it drama.

I really don't know what it should be called, somehow i keep thinking these people are making spoofs, and that we're intended to laugh.

What sparked this was a scene I just watched in "Al Adham" series. A group of people are supposedly on a rubber boat and they are illegal immigrants trying to go somewhere.

There is a storm
It's raining heavily
The waves keep crashing into the people

BUT

Not a single one of them is wet!

A miracle? No. All the water is superimposed onto the image.

People it's not the 80's.

Also, it won't take much effort to get these people wet...or was the rain a last thought?


Not enough?

In ebn el arandaly, two people are chatting using a webcam. However the angle we see the image from is COMPLETELY different from the position the webcam is actually placed.


I value Egyptian drama, we do pretty good stuff sometimes, but come on guys, I'm sure you watched ER for example...we are convinced these people are doctors...because they do their homework, they bring in specialists not "fahlawa".

That is aside from the poor acting, and illogical character developments..don't even get me started. And what I don't get is that no one really complains...if people did, by not watching, then maybe we'll get somewhere. But all we do is sit and stare at the TV and take in what they're dishing out. Although I'm pretty sure a lot of people are of the opinion that these series are of poor quality, but I guess watching them has turned into more of a tradition and a social activity, regardless of the content.

Will we ever get to see a change in the quality of TV drama similar to what has happened with Egyptian movies?

Then if you're unfortunate enough you get to watch inas el degheidy's "el garee2a" where she tries to insert sex between every other subject she discusses with her guests. Ok, we get you're liberal...alf mabrook, shatra, good for you, you don't have to prove it in EVERYTHING you do and say. And since when was liberalism only tied to sexual matters? She is such an attention grabber, and her eyes glow at the thought of controversy.


Er7amna ya rab!

Stemming from Inso's post about the one, I wanted to express my feelings further about the subject.

I think I have two conflicting sides...an absolutely realistic side that deals with givens and facts ruthlessly...and a hoplessly romantic side.

Again idealism...it seems that to understand me you only need one keyword.

My romantic side believes in the one, in absolute love -whether it leads to marriage or not is another story. The lucky people among us get to meet their one. But you see, with the one, it is not about possessing them, or having them, it's about cherishing them, even if you can't be together. I don't believe that people complete each other, but rather they engulf each other, imagine the shape of yin and yang. each shape is complete on its own, but they engulf each other and they create a new shape together...a circle, an endless circle.

Then my realistic side kicks in, and i start to see all the worldly, disappointing details around us that don't allow for this notion to thrive...and as always I am torn.

But I tried the realistic side, and that ended in divorce...so maybe I'll wait to experience the other side's point of view this time. Maybe I'll find the one I can grow old with, love despite seeing the worst of his sides, and see the day when we effortlessly complete each other's sentences.

Lucidity

I keep thinking of reasons for keeping this blog. I guess the only reason right now is that I can't be bothered to delete it!

I'm contemplating dropping the anonymity too. I might create another totally anonymous blog to speak my mind with no censorship. Anyway we'll see.

One of my college mates passed away yesterday. She died in her sleep. We weren't close friends or anything, the odd hello every now and then, but I was shocked nonetheless.

Of course we are always shocked by the sudden death of young people, and then we forget and life blinds us again, which sets us up for the next shock. It's an endless loop. Whenever something like this happens we jump on the resolution bandwagon and keep making promises to ourselves that only stem from the moment...and then a day, a week, a month, a year passes, and we forget how dear our lives are.

But then again, we choose to be blinded, we choose th put our heads down and look only beneath our feet, no one ever said that it is something inevitable and unavoidable. We can teach ourselves to cherish the simple things, to try to grasp the essence of life, even if this is only possible for moments at a time.

This again leads to my theme. Absolute values, feelings, meanings, morals. In other words, idealism. But an idealism that is abstract, not bound by the rules we place, or that are placed on us.

Don't mind me, it seems that the fasting is affecting my lucidity.

We ramadan kareem.

Question

What's with the increasing number of TV ads for local viagra alternatives?

I have two concerns here:

1- These ads aren't even discrete, they're quite obvious and indecent, so watching them with your parents/ kids is quite embarrassing.

2- Young men appear in these commercials, which is quite scary...are Egyptian men suffering that badly at an early age? I ask because I have heard numerous stories of newly married couples who are having such problems, more specifically where men are not that interested in being intimate with their wives.

Well actuall 3 concerns,

3- Whenever I go to a pharmacy these medications are right there on the front counter with the chocolates and the asprin, as if they are requested regularly.

I don't know if it's some kind of trend, but I would really like to see some scientific study done on this issue soon.

We rabbena yostor 3ala reggaltek ya masr :)

Late Night Thoughts

- Hope is sometimes an annoying tendency. Sometimes all I want to do is give up. But then a nagging voice in my head whispers out of the darkness that maybe things might get better.

- I wonder if I am capable of being myself 100% with anyone and have them know everything about me (is that even wise? do other people do that?), and I mean anyone not necessarily a significant other. I have this guard inside that hides things from people according to what their tolerance level is. I don't know what to call this; people-pleasing, not wanting any hassle, being a vague/mysterious person...I don't really know. What I do know is that I am willing to open up to people who are not judgmental, but then again it takes me ages to be able to trust people.

- No matter how much I try I am incapable of stopping my idealistic outlook in life. I can never get it through my thick skull that people will not behave according to my extremely high expectations.

- I keep thinking of confronting one of my friends with their extremely weird behaviour and outright insolence. Yet people tell me that this would be extremely naiive of me and that the best way to deal with such people is to ignore them. I don't know, but I prefer to tell people what I think straight up...whether this is something that thy can understand or not, at least it makes me feel better for not letting things go unexplained. More idealistic BS on my part?

MJ

Didn't think I'd blog about this.

But I think MJ's death wasn't the tragedy, it was his life.

If you read about his life you can really see how his father, and eventually the media turned someone who is extremely talented into a person who is a social freak.

I think it's sad. Not the saddest thing in the world, but sad.

And yes there shouldn't be all this unnecessary hype about a single human death of course.

As a kid, MJ was one of my favourite singers, and to this day I think he produced some amazing music and was an excellent performer.

For, one of my school yearbooks, I was in the yearbook editing team.

Our supervising teacher thought it would be funny to write the most common thing phrase/sentence he heard from each student.

Mine was:

"This doesn't make sense"


I have not changed since then.

This STILL doesn't make sense.

Funny how I never changed although I thought I had.

If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you always got...

I wonder if we had the option to end our lives (without any religious ramifications), would we see more people doing it?

Would I do it?

I'm not suicidal, I just wonder sometimes, would that make life easier for us, to just have that option in our hands?

I sometimes feel I have messed up my life beyond repair. Maybe if this option was available I'd have the incentive to keep on trying to make things better....something I am definitely unable to do currently.

I sometimes surprise myself and others with all of this darkness. I would bet that most, if not people I know, would be surprized at my thoughts and feelings, mainly because I'm so different on the outside. But I guess this is the only place I can be me.

Another one of my dark moods...it will pass.

Question: Where have all the MEN gone in this country? And I mean MEN, not merely 'beings' with male genitalia.

Where have all the decent guys gone? Is there a special place they go to? Do they not mingle with the rest of society? Fee eih ya ged3an? I would really like to know.

*insert 3-letter swear word here*

More thoughts

It seems that I can only write in bullet points these days, so:

- It's really weird when one of your friends (whom you hadn't spoken to in ages) sends you an add request on facebook, and then you don't hear a peep from that person. Are people too busy to even say "hi" or "nice to see you hear" or "long time no see"...anything to make me feel that I just approved a request from a human being not a machine!

- Speaking of facebook, I also fail to understand how random guys can just send an add request and expect women to accept. At least put in some effort and write a note or something.

- I got proposed to by a guy on the street who apparently lives near my house and saw me a few times. He proceeded to give me a full account of his family history and was not deterred by my attempt to get him to piss off by telling him that I'm divorced. How pleasant. The good part was actually when my parents thought I should consider it. My mom told me I shouldn't write off marriage as it is better to have a partner in life...but of course she wasn't pressuring me. She also decided to use the example of a lady in the family who never got married and died in her apartment alone. No pressure at all.

- Why are cars so effing expensive in this country? You either drive a piece of 800cc crap with no a.c, or you dish out your life savings to buy something marginally decent.

- I think we are so used to attacking the U.S administration that we aren't capable yet of letting our guard down for Obama.

However, I have - this guy is really something, I believe that he is not a fake. But I also believe that people won't let him achieve his goals.

Listening to him is captivating, he is truly fit to be a leader.

- On another note, I feared people at the speech would start chanting "Obamaaaaaa, Obama, Oooh Oooh" ...why are all cheers in Egypt now derived from the ariel ad?

Things that annoy me and other miscellaneous thoughts

Things that annoy me:

- When I'm away from my desk at work and my cell phone rings, someone decides to handle the ringing by silencing it. Who gave you the right to handle my phone?

- When walking on an empty pavement and someone passes next to me brushing against me in the process while the whole effing pavement is empty! Egyptians have no sense of personal space.

- People who disappear for no reason and then come back and pretend that everything is the same as before.


Miscellaneous thoughts:

- I just finished reading Candide by Voltaire...apparently the optimal living arrangement would be for one to cultivate their own garden. O.k?

- I'm at a stage of mental desertification. My mind is literally turning into a barren desert. I scarcely care anymore. All I do is try to increase the feeling of numbness.

- I recently went to the Aquarium Grotto Gardens a.k.a Hadeeqet el Asmak. It should actually be called hadeeqet el asmak el me7'allela/ el renga/ el ta2feesh. Here's the deal:

1- No fish

2- Actually SOME dead fish in jars

3- Couples everywhere, groping each other...this place is aparently one of the popular locations frequented by sexually frustrated couples

4- BATS! Inside the cave structure where there should be fish, there are actually bats squeaking away as they cover the ceiling that has become their new home. Maybe they killed the fish? As I walked in my only concern was not of coming into contact with the bats but was of having a bat decide to relieve itself on my head (it is not an uncommon occurence for me, but more on that in another post).

5- So if you're into dead fish/bats/voyeurism/or just in a what-the-hell-let's-give-this-place-a-look kind of mood then go visit by all means.

6- I've run out of things to say.